A Venting Session That You Should Probably Skip Over.

And what exactly do you hope to accomplish with this argument? Because so far all you have done is anger me, make my boyfriend insecure about my feelings for him, and make the few friends I decided to tell think you're a complete dumb ass.

Let's just pretend for a moment that I indulge you. Let's just say that I stand here and tell you, "I'm in love with you Pedrum, I always have been and I always will be," and for a moment let's pretend that it would be true if I did. What do you suppose would happen? It honestly baffles me, your motivations and hopes for this.

Because I know for a fact you wouldn't be with me. You wouldn't take me back if I knelt down in front of you and groveled for your love. Not that even if I did still have feelings for you that I would want to be with you. I feel like I owe you and I feel SO incredibly guilty for what I did to you, that's why it took me so damn long to get over you. But I did it, I didn't forgive myself for what I did, but I accepted that it happened, that I can't change the past, that all I can do is make sure that I don't hurt the next boy, and that I no matter my actions in the past, I deserve to be happy and move on with my life. And now that I have done that, I can see the person you've turned into. Granted I may be part, probably even the entirety, of the reason that you changed, but I can't handle it. This person you are now is not the same person who called me every night just to say he loved me; it's not the same person who was there for me every time I cried; it's not the same person who knew everything about me; it's not the same person who was my best friend; it's not the same person  I loved. And so even if I did have feelings for you, it would be feelings for the person I dated, not the person you are now, and I would never be able to be with you and deal with the monster I created.

And it's not only that.If I were to "confess my love" all that would really happen is the only thing that has made me honestly happy after our breakup being taken away from me, Cody. Do you remember that night at  the Southdale mall food court at like 9:00pm, when no one was around except us and the janitor, when my sobs brought you to tears, and I told you that maybe we should break up? Because I remember, I remember vividly the immense pain but utter certainty that it was what I needed to do. I did that for you, for your happiness. It killed me to see you so upset every day, to know that being with me wasn't making you fully happy anymore, and so, for your own god damn happiness, I let you go. And right now, it just makes me sad that I would do that for you, that I would give up my happiness with you so you could move on from the pain I caused you. Because right now all it seems that you're trying to do is take my happiness away when I've finally found it again.

I'm done with you. I'm done with attempting to gain an impossible friendship back. You're different now and the different you disgusts me.

Sadie Hawkins

First off . . . Who or what on EARTH is Sadie Hawkins? What important thing did this woman do? The first woman to ask a man on a date? The first woman to ask for a man's hand in marriage? Is it even a woman (I mean in Colonial days, men had quite womanly names)? IS IT EVEN A PERSON? We have an entire dance dedicated to this so called Sadie and we don't even know who he/she is.

And on a side note, I just spilled mayo on my pants from my subway sandwich. My life sucks.

So out of curiosity and the thought that I should probably research to find the significance of Sadie Hawkins I went to Wikipedia and typed it in. Turns out that Sadie is not a person, she is a cartoon. Sadie was the daughter of some dog man (his name was similar to dog man) and still at the age of 35 could not find a suitor. So because her father was so anxious to get his daughter out of the house, he made a day: Sadie Hawkins Day. On this day, all the fine young bachelors of dog town (or whatever it is) got the divine pleasure (or maybe not since she never seemed to find a husband) of being chased by Sadie.

We get to ask boys to a dance because some crazy cartoon girl couldn't find a husband. Empowering.

My intention for this post was to list all the reasons that Sadie Hawkins dances are stupid. But I think this is all the proof we need.

POWER TO THE WOMEN WHO CAN'T FIND HUSBANDS!

Telephone Pictionary

So I finally went through the sheets of paper in the telephone pictionary game we played during the last day of AP Language and Composition and I must say the change proved to be quite interesting.

I went from "Jack playing fruit ninja during class." to "I hate how I have to read 50 essays instead of watching TV."

The progression went something like this:

1. Jack playing fruit ninja during class

2. attempted drawing of Jack playing fruit ninja on his desk.

3. The bearded man threw a book into the pool. (this interpretation was made by Jack himself...good one)

4. a drawing of a man with a very shaggy beard throwing a book into a pool.

5. The guy dropped his book into the pool.

6. Picture of man dropping a book into a pool (man his throwing arm is LONG)

7. Throwing a book into a swimming pool.

So far it's been pretty consistent

8. a drawing of an AP Composition book being thrown into a pool.

9. Throw the AP comp book into the pool.

10. drawing of 50 essays being thrown into a pool.

11. I threw my 50 essays book at the TV

12. picture of an angry person throwing 50 essays at the TV

and now for the last one and my personal favorite....

13. I hate how I have to read 50 essays instead of watching TV (I'm sure this went through the minds of many people throughout the course)

If I had a way of getting the drawings onto here, I so would. These pictures are fantastic (no, not the type of fantastic that belongs in a museum, the type of fantastic that make you cry from laughing so hard.)

spanking your wife and killing computers

If you're curious about my title, then stay tuned until the end (or just scroll down if you're that interested) and I shall let you in on the title that I would never write out of the blue.

But first, I must write my ode to Cardona. No, it's not an actual ode, but her blog post wasn't a love letter to Orwell so boom, roasted. A primero (yay for using my spanish transitioning skills), my favorite of the links she posted on her post was the Oatmeal link that led me into some terrible valentines cards that I might just end up giving to my boyfriend...I hope he doesn't expect me to be cutesy, because I don't do cutesy. Not very well at least.

Anyway, Cardona has assigned a free topic blogpost. And yes, I'm doing it even though class is over. Call me a dork, but hey, shoot me. Open topic? Well allow me to be sappy and talk about how much I'll miss this class (even though is killed me a little inside.)

Mrs. Cardona, I've complained about your class to my parents and my friends more than any other class. Even AP Euro. And let me tell you, I hated that class. It sucked. The assignments in AP comp sucked and I would have cried a million times about my grades if I were one ounce more emotional than I am.  Thank god I have some tough skin. But honestly, as much as it took over my life and made me feel bad about myself on occassion, it was a real experience. I learned SO much from this class that I feel like I can carry on into other things, other classes, jobs, blogging. As far as you go, you're that teacher that everyone knows is a tough grader and expects a lot out of her students, but you're also that teacher that everyone loves and respects as a teacher because you actually TEACH us things, and you make class fun, and you have a personality, and you're sarcastic, and you don't sugarcoat things just because you're a teacher and you need to be nice to the children. It's cool, and you've made it onto my favorite teachers of all time list (as if you care.) Sorry for being sappy and praising you; you're probably sitting at your computer feeling incredibly awkward (and hopefully proud/happy) because of this confession of love for your class. Thank you for everything you taught us and did for us.

Now, for my title.

"spanking your wife" trust me, I'm just as surprised and weirded out as you are by this title. I had nothing to do with it, I swear. When I logged onto blogger on my friend's computer (because I check it on my phone every two seconds and saw that Mrs. Cardona has assigned a blog post) and I clicked the title box, "spanking your wife" was the first thing that came up..can you say awkward? My friend claims that she has no idea what that is from or why it is there, but I have my doubts.

"killing computers" First off, can we just get rid of internet explorer? Let's kill it and burry it in some deep hole that no one can find it in, because it sucks, it's terrible, and I hate it. Internet explorer is the only web browser that my friend has on her computer (I know, she's stupid) and while I was typing this blog post, a message came up saying that internet explorer had stopped responding and needed to restart, getting rid of all my typing. Thanks. And to top it off, when I was typing it up a second time, the fricking computer had to restart and update. Screw you, computer. Screw you. I almost gave up, but I just couldn't abandon this blogging assignment.

Okay, I'm off to actually do something with my day off because I look like a loser sitting here on a Friday. On my blog. For school. For an assignment. For a class that I'm not even in anymore. Gosh I'm so cool. Okay. Really now, I'm leaving. Have a fantastic weekend!

Index Poem: Extended.

I'm going to do an index poem on each class because for some reason, I really enjoyed my classes this semester and I'm sad to leave them. This will probably just end up being a list of all the memorable things in my classes and not really a poem or an index.. But I'm no longer in APcomp, so I can choose to do that ;) (<-- I can just picture how Mrs. Cardona would cringe at the site of that.)\

Grammar&Usage

• Pun galore
• GPA booster..I didn't have to study for any of the tests
• Bad jokes..and the people who don't understand them
• Bailey never being in class
• Ellie's sassiness
• Christina and Erica always laughing about something that no one else knew about
• Muller sleeping
• Thomas never knowing what number we're on
• Stories about "Ellie-boo" from Schumacher
• Katie and I giving each other looks for some people's stupidity..(mean, I know, sorry)
• Remising on fourth grade memories with Katie and Emily

AP Language & Composition
Argument

• Visual, 
• Written, 
• Spoken, 
• Everything (except that one quiz question)

BLA groups

• Female Brain sucked, 
• pretending to have read all the pages, 
• odd comments that I hear from other groups and occasionally my own.

Blogs

• Yeah Write, (also see, apcomp taking over my life)
• my blog, 
• the blog we were supposed to follow at the beginning of the semester but didn't but didn't
• checking Cardona's blog at 3:00 pm on Sundays
• slowly working my way up to checking Cardona's blog every day (also see apcomp taking over my life)
• finding voice
• creeping on people's blogs, not just from our block...(again..also see apcomp taking over my life)

Cardona

• one of the only stylish teachers I've had
• best English teacher I've had
• killed my GPA
• can't seem to hate her, ever when she gives me F's
• sarcasm

Dwight

• accents
• love for computers and video games
• can always make me laugh
• "I wonder what Dwight writes about in his freewrites"

Essays

• 50 essays, the killer race to the shelf when only half the class brings it to class
• grade killer
• C actually became average
• voice, voice, voice
• drafts on drafts on drafts on drafts on drafts

Finals

• too painful to even talk about

Friday Freewrites

• the theme song that always gets stuck in everyone's head
• "I wonder what Dwight writes about"
• "uhmmm....what should I talk about?"
• using my notebook as a weekly diary/ranting session

Jack

• Fruit ninja
• some farm game
• helping him with his girlfriend problems
• the bearded man

Megan

• the mature one (most of the time)
• the one always being asked for help
• has the funniest family tradition stories

Nadeen

• ALWAYS has food
• love her clothes 
• the only person in the class that I have mutual friends with

Orwell

• only putting this in here because Cardona would strangle me if I didn't
• the God of writing
• Cardona's idol
• why can't I be as good as he is?

Procrastination

• is bad
• don't do it
• but we all did anyway

Projects/Presentations

• also see procrastination
• dressing up
• stressing out
• blanking on the lines you rehearsed 30 times

Ryan

• always asking for megan's help
• terrible metaphors
• "have you ever felt the warmth of a woman?"
• invading my love life
• also see distraction 

4x Math

Ashley

• sophomore
• smarter than the asian kid
• gets over 100% on all the tests
• why can't I be her?

Flatland

• everyone raving about watching flatland
• the looks of pity that we gave to people who said they've never seen it before
• finally watching flatland on the last day

Forrest

• "RUN FORREST RUN!"
• his mind is constantly being blown with information
• getting off task when we were in a group together
• that awkward moment when you realize that had forrest not been in my math class I wouldn't be dating cody...
• Ojibwa 

Homework

• also see "kill me now"
• only finishing half of it before class and filling the rest in during class
• "what is this...? it seemed so easy in class...."
• taking valuable time from my life (also see "I have apcomp homework to do"

Kilkelly

• the man of endless talents (also see "clogging," "pizza making," "the ability to hold one's self sideways on a pole," "brewing your own beer," and "the ability to blow people's minds")
• his love for my bright pink clothing
• the way he almost acted as a father to the class
• his countless little mistakes that we have to correct during classwork

Mind Blowing

• getting your mind blown every day
• the fourth dimension
• "what am I doing in this class...?"

Tests/Quizzes

• 10/15 being considered an alright quiz
• quizzes were harder than the tests
• should've studied more...

Spanish 4

Accents

• american accents to the max
• feeling like an idiot after hearing Miguel and David speak 

Arsalan

• left after first term
• math whiz
• my persian hermano
• actually loved this kid to death

Basel

• Basledazzle
• profe never being able to pronounce his name
• sophomore (also see "bullying...in a loving way")
• the smart kid

Books

• lost them after the first two weeks of class
• if I have to $60 I'll shoot someone
• someone help me find my books ):

David

• every pronounces his name the spanish way, except profe who says it the american way...(backwards?)

Devante

• always has my gum supply
• the 238752938 hats he has
• always says he'll give me free cold stone but he's never working when I go in
• the one who always gets caught speaking english
• words with friends....

Ellie & Kendal

• the girls that should be sisters
• sarcastic
• Miguel's favorites

IPA's

• easy
• never studied, but probably should have
• grade maker

Miguel

• ladies man
• all the girls secretly drooling over him (but not so secretly)
• slowly came out of his shell throughout the semester
• columbian
• "miguel how do you say..." "miguel! what does ..... mean?" "miguel, be in my group!"

Noticieros

• always winging it
• try your hardest to get a movie as your topic
• always forgetting to use transitions

Awwh man, I'm going to miss my classes )': RIP semester 1 of Junior Year <3 <3 <3

Let me just start writing things on this blog until I get my password back..

Some people at Wayzata are so immature and rude. Posting videos on facebook to mock people is not funny, is disrespectful and annoying. You're not impressing anybody, I can promise you that. You're just making yourself look bad. I'm sick and tired of seeing things like this on facebook. People need to grow up.

Withdrawls.

I'm an addict. Hardcore. 

I know, I know what you're thinking. I don't seem like the type, huh. Well my friend, things aren't always as they seem...

In light of finals, projects, and useless (not really but that's how is seems) end-of-the-semester junk I had to give up my addiction for a few days so I could solely focus on my schoolwork. Let's hope it paid off. 

Crack? No. 

Alcohol? No.

Cigarettes? No.

(okay, I'll give you a hint, it's not illegal and it's not someone you put in your body)

Facebook? God no. 

Twitter? No, but it might become an addiction soon. 

Boyfriend? No, I refuse to let boyfriends become addictions. 

Do you give up? Good. 

It's blogging. *insert gasps and shocked faces here* 

Again, I know what you're thinking, But she barely even posts! How could she be an addict if she isn't on here 24/7? There's a reason I don't come on here daily and pour my heart out and post photography and cute pictures of cats and random quotes that I love and poems that touched me, so on and so forth. And that reason is (drumroll please) I have another blog! 

My dramatizing of the situation has taken me from telling you what my problem is. As I said, in light of finals, I decided I needed a break from my blog. I assume that meth addicts can't sit in front of a box, holding it's key, that contains meth and resist the temptation, because I couldn't even use the computer for school purposes without opening my blog up. If this were twitter I would say #trueaddict, but it's not. Too bad I just said it anyway. 

ANYWAY! I digress. Again. Because of my addiction I was forced to give up my blog password to a trusted friend so he could change it and I would no longer have access. *insert picture of depressed teenage girl crying in a corner* Tonight I get it back, if I finish all my homework and studying before Sir Dan, holder of my substance, sleeps. His beautiful ability to stay up until the wee hours of the morning would be fantastic. . . if he didn't live in the UK. Therefore I have to finish my stuff SUPER fast. 

So I anyhow, I came on here to rid myself of the urge to post on my blog. I hope I never become addicted to any drugs...by the looks of it I'd be pretty hopeless.

God help me to get through these tough times without my blog.